Cat etiquette - Meeting and greeting a cat
Not sure how to meet a cat? You might be a new cat parent, want to know how to get along with your friend’s cat, or maybe you are a “dog person” who just doesn’t "get" cats.
There are some pointers to consider, especially if you are more familiar with dogs, that will provide a basis of understanding cats. This post will also help you to know enough about cat communication so that you can meet a cat using proper cat etiquette.
Key facts about cats to remember
Cat domestication
Cats were domesticated only about 10,000 yrs ago. Sounds like a long time, but that is not nearly as long as dogs (at almost 40,000 yrs ago) or many other farm animals.
This matters because cats are closer to their wild ancestors, with a hardwired predatory instinct, and less time being selectively bred to be a pet. You may not know it, but until recently, domestic cats were mainly outdoor pets used to hunt rodents. So cats haven’t had nearly as much time in close contact with families. On the other hand, for thousands of years dogs have been bred to pay close attention to people, to communicate with us, and to happily serve our needs.
Check out this fascinating timeline on the domestication of animals (from Visual Capitalists). And click here to learn more about dog domestication.
Solitary animal
Pet cats (Felis catus) and all wild cats except lions are solitary by nature. This is quite different from dogs, who descended from wolves and naturally live in groups or packs.
Yet even solitary animals will meet up with others from time to time. Then, it is important to quickly understand if a stranger is a friend or foe. Cats have developed specific communications to keep distance from others and decide when to come into closer contact with others. This is an important point to remember when meeting and greeting a cat.
The ways cats communicate
In terms of visual cues, humans are used to focusing on faces and eyes, because we have almost 50 facial muscles that allow for complex facial expressions. But cats don’t have the same facial muscles that we have. Instead, they use complex body language, vocalizations, and scents to express themselves.
This background means that we may have to work harder to understand what cats are saying to have a good relationship.
How do we meet a cat so it is calm and friendly?
Given these basics, what can we do to when we are meeting and greeting a cat to ensure that he or she responds in a friendly way? Here are four pointers to help.
1. Think like a cat – and not a dog
If you are a dog owner, you may be tempted to behave the same way around a cat. While dogs engage quickly with new people - and often rush up and hug/lick you – remember, cats are solitary. You need to take your time and consider the cat's behavior before approaching.
2. Smell like a cat
Cats know their territory by the scent. They use pheromones to scent mark the environment so that it feels like home. And scent marking doesn't end with the furniture! Cats will spread their scent on other cats, animals, or people in the environment. Scent glands exist on a cat's head, feet and flank.
Cats don’t usually like new smells. This is quite different from Fido who LOVES all new smelly stuff (and may even roll in particularly smelly items)! To a cat, a new person may smell foreign and something to stay away from.
To help a cat get used to you, don’t meet a new cat after handling a strange cat or dog. Stay away from heavily scented soap or perfume. If you are visiting a friend with a cat, don't rush your introduction to the feline friend. Let your scent become less scary with time.
3. Greet like a cat
Give the cat some space to get used to you. Keep your distance at first and focus on something else. This will be less threatening. Often, the individual who isn’t interested in cats is the one the cat approaches!
Another good tip is not to stare at a cat! This is threatening behavior and the cat may think that you are stalking him. You can use cat behavior patterns to help the cat understand that you are friendly. Blink your eyes slowly. This is a sign of a friendly approach.
Another tip is to get on the cat’s level. Don’t tower over him or her, which can be threatening to cats (and most other animals).
4. Respond like a cat
When cats meet other cats, they behave in particular ways, so it is good to watch for behavioral cues. Cats often hold their tail up or in a question-mark shape, may make a quiet trill, and sit down when approaching you.
Be sure to let the cat make the first move. Your new feline friend should initiate and end the interaction. If you see that the cat is interested in interacting, offer bent finger at nose level. This is similar to the way cats might approach each other by bumping noses. Watch for the cat's response to this and only proceed if the cat is calm and has not backed away.
Are you ready to pet the cat? Great! Cats usually want to be touched between the eyes and ears and on the upper back. Most do not like to be touched on the tail, stomach, or feet. For more details, see this article from Animal Wised.
Any time you are meeting and greeting a cat, be sure to watch for signs that the cat is ready to end the interaction. Stop engaging immediately if the cat bites, hisses, flattens its ears, or twitches its tail.
Keep in mind that all cats are not the same. Due to rearing, environment, and genetics, they might display behaviors in different ways. But this basic info should help get you started.